


there's no masking love, when you're pouring it out

by sugdensrobert



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron and Liv are away on their roadtrip, Angst, Canon Compliant, Family Feels, Fluff, M/M, Softness, a fair few mentions of Jack Sugden, but it's also a look into rob's life while aaron's away, but mostly just soppy, centred very much around Father's day, they are soft husbands who miss each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 10:57:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14999429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugdensrobert/pseuds/sugdensrobert
Summary: "i’ll call you every day."or, robert and aaron speak every night while they are seperated, and robert struggles with the fact that his first father's day is approaching.





	there's no masking love, when you're pouring it out

**Author's Note:**

> hello!  
> as the summary suggests, this fic is centred around father's day quite a lot, and has a lot of seb in it, so yeah just as a warning!  
> also i have no idea where aaron and liv's roadtrip is taking them other than scotland in canon, but in this fic they only stayed in scotland!

 

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been waiting by the phone all night. Aaron and Liv had left earlier today and Aaron promised him he would call as soon as they were at their first stop. Robert smiled to himself as he thought about Liv’s excited face at the thought of doing a road trip like this, not planning anything ahead but just seeing where it would take them, staying in hotels or B&B’s.

Even though they were up north, going up to Scotland was still a bit of a trek and Robert felt this gnawing worry, he had already resisted the urge to just text Liv asking her for updates, didn’t want to seem like a nag.

It was then that Robert could hear the sounds of Seb waking up via the baby monitor and soon after the little boy started crying.

 

“Hey mate, it’s alright” he whispered, picking Seb up and holding him close, “shh, shh, are you hungry?” He decided to take him downstairs. Skilfully he got Seb’s bottle ready, while still holding his son, rocking him gently and hearing his sobs subside. “Here we go” he walked over to the couch and Seb began drinking immediately.

“Do you think they’re missing us already, I do” he whispered, looking around the empty house, it wasn’t that he was never alone like this but it was different now wasn’t it, Aaron and Liv wouldn’t be home later tonight or tomorrow. He felt his heart almost ache at the thought and decided that they would have to facetime soon.

“We’ll go on holiday together later this summer okay? What about a beach holiday.” Robert smiled, suddenly in love with the idea of a family holiday, they hadn’t really talked about it but he couldn’t wait to ask Aaron about it. Seb gurgled, and Robert lifted him slightly so he could press a kiss to Seb’s head “yeah, I knew you would like the idea too little man”

Just a few months ago he never ever thought he would have this again, at least not with Aaron, he felt a lump in his throat and he had to squeeze his eyes shut for a second to will away the tears. It wasn’t uncommon that Robert got this overwhelming feeling of happiness, gratefulness. Often Aaron would sense it, he would squeeze his hand, or give him a soft smile.

Just a few years ago he would have never thought that his life would look like this right now, didn’t think he would get excited at the thought of going on a beach holiday – a beach holiday with his family. Life was weird really, really weird.

As a young boy they did go on family holidays, often camping trips in the country but Robert had loved them, wants nothing more than for Seb to have good family memories as well, but even more for them to stay good, for them not to get tainted.

Suddenly thoughts and memories of himself as a teenager are rudely overtaking his thoughts. He knows that it’s because of the many, many Father’s day adverts that had been on television that night, hates how easily this happens, he thinks about his dad and the next memory will be _that day._ He gets this overwhelming feeling of need to hear Aaron’s voice, just wants to talk to him but he wills himself to keep it together just for a few minutes longer.

 

The bottle is nearly empty and Seb looks like he is ready to fall asleep any minute now, Robert holds him up and strokes his back softly, murmuring little nothings to his son. When it looks like there is no danger of Seb being sick, Robert stands up to walk them both upstairs.

 

Robert laughs when he can see Seb’s little legs kicking at the sound of the music from the baby mobile. Robert and Aaron both gotten into the habit of playing it just when they were about to leave the room, Seb never seemed too interested before but as he gotten a bit older he’s taken a real shine to it.

“Night, night I’ll come back in a bit mate” he whispers.

 

He isn’t too sure what to do with himself, the kitchen’s cleaned up, all his emails and other work is done but he feels to restless to pick up his book or the paper. He ends up aimlessly watching the television, his eyes flickering to his phone every second as if he could miss it ringing.

 

When it finally does, Robert can’t help his shaky, relieved voice.

 

“Hey” he breathes, not even giving Aaron the chance to say something “you finally decided to call then” he jokes, managing to sound slightly lighter.

“Hey you” Robert can almost _hear_ his husband’s soft smile, “yeah- I wanted us to be completely settled before I called you.”

“So you are settled?”

“Yeah, some B&B, not too pricey, so it will do us, and Liv’s happy.”

“That’s good, I am glad I- I know it’s a bit of a drive but I was getting worried.” Robert decides to just be honest.

“Idiot, we’re both fine, aren’t we Liv” the last part is louder and then Robert hears a “yeah, yeah” and he chuckles.

“Enough about us, how are you and little Seb?” Robert’s heard him call Seb that before, but every time he practically melts into a puddle. “Good yes, we’re both good, he just had his lost bottle and is sleeping soundly now.” Robert very much hopes the shakiness in his voice isn’t noticed by Aaron, he can’t help it, the memories that were threatening to overwhelm him not even half an hour earlier still fresh in his mind. Aaron doesn’t reply instantly and Robert thinks that his husband is distracted, maybe talking to Liv-

“Rob?”

“What?”

“Are you sure you’re alright, you sound- off?” Robert hates this, isn’t surprised that his husband picked up on it but hates it all the same.

“I just miss you.” He settles for, it doesn’t sit right with him to mention Father’s day, wants Aaron and Liv to have a nice time away, doesn’t want to burden his husband with those thoughts.

“I miss you too, I wish you were here, I really do Robert.” Robert feels his heart flutter “I was thinking we go away this summer, the four of us, somewhere warm?”

“Sounds amazing.” Aaron replies, Robert can hear the tiredness in his voice.

“Can we facetime tomorrow?”

“Sure we can you sap” he hears Aaron’s laugh, “I am sorry it was so short I-“

“It’s fine Aaron.” Robert says, means it “you can tell me more tomorrow, when you’ve actually seen something other than the motorway.”

“I will do, I love you, give Seb a cuddle from me yeah?”

“Of course, I love you too, so much.”

 

 

Robert did feel better after the call, but couldn’t shake this guilty feeling, he was ok but still Aaron would have wanted to know what had gotten him shaky. It reminded him too much of the last time they were apart and kept secrets. It would have probably been different if they had talked about Father’s day, but the both of them had done their utter best to avoid it, neither of them mentioned it, not when the countless adverts where on the telly, not when they heard some of the villagers in the pub talking about it, not when the leaflets came through the post, yelling about Father’s day gifts. Neither of them had had a reason to celebrate it in the past, so they had gotten used to ignoring it he guessed. This year was different, his first one but Seb had no idea about it, and Robert wasn’t sure how to feel about it himself.

He was confident that the wave of feelings and memories he just experienced, had just been a blip, and promised himself that from now on he would tell Aaron everything else that was one his mind in the time they were apart.

 

When he decided to go to bed himself, he went to check on Seb first, who was awake but quiet, wide eyes looking up at him.

“Hey Mate” he picked him up “daddy Aaron sends you big cuddles” he whispered against his little head. Seb’s suddenly all awake and is waving his arms about Robert laughs “yes I miss him too sweetheart.” He makes a decision and carries Seb towards his and Aaron’s bedroom, laying him carefully in the middle of their bed.

“Shall we move you into this room until daddy Aaron’s back” Seb giggled and Robert took that as a yes. After some tickles and more giggles and Robert humming a few lullabies, Seb was out like a light and Robert quickly went to get his crib, moving it right against his side of the bed. He picked up the little boy giving him a kiss, before tucking him in.

 

 

::::

 

 

The mill was eerie quiet, Robert aimlessly staring at whatever was on the tv. Seb was at Keepers leaving Robert all alone at home. Robert had to laugh to be honest, years ago having the whole house to himself would have been amazing, now it was horrible. He missed the noise, missed Aaron’s little touches, missed them sitting on the couch, pressed together. Yes, he definitely missed his husband.

Normally Robert would appreciate having Seb at Rebecca and Vic’s on a Friday, meaning he could tie all loose ends before the weekend, could answer emails undisturbed, and could run out to the scrapyard if he needed to. Now he would love to have his son here, he finished all his work, and could do with giggles, laughter and gurgling.

As if his husband could sense Robert’s loneliness, a facetime call came in. Robert was _almost_ surprised, Aaron often scoffing at all mentions of skype and facetime.

 

 

“Thought you were lying to me when you said we would facetime.”

“Wanted to see your ugly mug, didn’t I.”

“Good because I wanted to see yours too.” Robert replied quickly before taking a good look at his husband, he looked good, he always did, but it was clear that he was happy and well rested. “You look good, relaxed.”

“I am” Aaron smiled at him, “I miss you though” it was said sincerely, and Robert would be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved, couldn’t stop thoughts of Aaron not missing him at all entering his brain. It was the first time they were apart, since they first got together and well- maybe Aaron loved not being around him. It was silly, deep down he knew that but-

“Hey,” Robert focused again, could see a worried frown appearing on Aaron’s face. “You okay?”

“I am fine, honestly it’s just quiet here.”

“You’re alone” Aaron stated, and Robert hated how sad he looked for him.

“Only until tomorrow.”

Aaron smiled again “you’re doing anything nice with Seb this weekend?” Robert wasn’t sure if he was referring to Sunday, or just the weekend in general. “Might go for a drive around, find a nice spot for a walk.”

“Old man” a voice said.

“I love you too Liv.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, “that’s nice, she’s gone by the way”

“She alright?”

“Yes, she’s buying all sorts of crap but I think she even bought you something.”

Robert smiled, “so when am I getting these presents then?”

“We’ve only been gone for two days, hardly.” Aaron laughed, shaking his head.

“Oh I am sorry that I am missing my husband.”

“I’ll be home soon I promise, so, I hope Tate hasn’t got you working too hard.” Aaron says it in a light enough way but he looks serious.

“Nah, I’m handling it, and him.”

“Good he’s a twat.” Robert laughs, as if he hadn’t heard that from Aaron a million times already.

“Tell me more about your day.”

Robert smiles, while he stares intently at his husband who tells him about his day, about the drive that got them nowhere, some random cat that Liv wanted to take home (Robert’s relieved to hear this isn’t the case) and their new stop (some cheap hotel with a very nice view).

“I’ll leave you to it.” He nods to Aaron when he hears Liv’s voice getting louder, and The Mill’s gone all dark in the time they had been speaking. Aaron signs but nods. “I’ll speak to you tomorrow yeah?”

“Of course- I love you and be careful.”

“Aren’t I always” Aaron laughs, “I love you too” he then blows a kiss towards the screen and Robert almost melts.

“Soft git” he laughs but blows one back.

 

 

:::

 

 

“We’re going to see Lisa tomorrow.” Aaron says, Robert wants to cuddle him so much it aches. He would if Aaron was next to him right now, it’s hard not to when he looks all cosy in his pyjama’s soft curls against his forehead, he’d call him cute and earn himself a slap on his arm.

“Oh yeah?” he replies, tomorrow is Father’s day and he’s dreading it. Vic wants to come round but Robert isn’t too sure if he wants that, what he does know that he doesn’t want to go with her to dad’s grave, if he goes, he goes on his own.

“You’re still there?, Looks like you’re on another planet.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m still here- say hello to her from me.”

Aaron laughs at that “erh yeah will do.”

 

Suddenly there’s a loud cry and even Aaron seems to hear it.

“Erh, duty calls-“

“Bring him down.”

“Ey” Aaron rolls his eyes, “take him downstairs, so I can say hello- he’s probably tired of seeing your face.”

Robert scoffs “well probably, hang on-“ Robert puts his phone down, hears Aaron muttering something about a nice view.

“Here we go” Robert moves the facetime session to the kitchen table, it’s still a bit of a struggle but finally they are seated, his phone leaning against a vase.

“Hiya again, and hello little man.” Robert turns to jelly as he watches Aaron’s expression light up as he makes faces at Seb. The little boy is still kind of grizzly, Robert doesn’t even know whether Seb can see it’s Aaron, but he almost seems to recognise his voice and it makes Robert feel all fuzzy.

“I am not very good at this.” Robert laughs, Seb is trying to punch him in the face and the screen is too small and far away, but it’s the only way they can both be in shot.

Aaron mirrors his laugh, “I hope you’re being good for your daddy”

“He is, he misses you though” Robert bounces Seb up and down which has him giggling like mad.

They talk for a bit, Robert loves the fact that Aaron looks at them both the whole time, as if Seb is really engaging in the conversation, and he keeps making faces at him. Then there’s Liv waving, and Seb’s little hands try to grab at Robert’s phone.

“I got you some gifts, little man, guess you deserve some after being stuck with Robert for so long” she jokes.

Seb is getting quieter in Robert’s arms, clearly on the brink of falling asleep. Aaron smiles at them both warmly “it’s not the same is it?”

Robert sighs, “tell me about it- I- can’t wait to have you both back here.”

“Home.” Aaron gulps, “want to touch you” he says suddenly, shaking his head at himself straight after. It makes Robert laugh “the feeling is mutual-  say goodnight then” he whispers to Seb, holds him up that little bit more and even goes as far to wave Seb’s little hand.”

“Night to you both- I love you”

“We love you.”

 

 

:::

 

 

He does it every morning, thinks it’s crazy really, considering how long they did spend apart during their breakup. He wakes up with his arm outstretched to Aaron’s side of the bed, his face half in his husband’s cushions. He realises immediately what day it is, and he can’t resist a deep sigh, feels bad about it with Seb so close to him but he can’t help it. Father’s day is different this year, he knows it, feels it so strongly it always will be now. It’s weird.

Seb’s eyes are already wide open, feet kicking out.

“Morning sweetheart, happy Father’s day to me I guess.” He kisses Seb’s head, the little boy making happy little noises. “Let’s get ready then, we’ll go and meet auntie Vic in the pub.” Initial plans had changed slightly, Vic had sent him a simple text asking if he wanted to meet at the pub for a meal, no mention of visiting the cemetery. He feels slightly guilty about it, knows Vic wishes that she didn’t always have to be the one who brings it up; birthdays, anniversaries, Father’s days.

He can’t even remember the last time he was at his dad’s grave for those kind of special days, but he can remember the last time he was there, he looks at Seb and gulps. Remembers him determined to leave his own son behind, because he was convinced Seb would be better off without him, feels memories of that horrible, lonely time full of self-hatred hit him. He picks Seb up, holds him close, squeezing him tightly.

“Sorry- I just need some cuddles hey.” He sniffs, Seb is kicking his little legs against Robert’s chest but doesn’t seem to be complaining.

He wishes Aaron was here, his husband would be able to pull him back, ground him.

 

Seb’s lying on the bed again, washed and ready for the day, and Robert is clearing up before heading out to pub when he gets an incoming facetime call from _Aaron._ He frowns can’t help this wave of worry going through him, it was an unspoken thing that they did their calls in the evening.

 

“Aaron.”

“Happy Father’s day then!”  Aaron’s all smiley, face close to the camera.

Robert’s baffled, opens his mouth closes it again and then says “wait, hang on.” He drops his phone and goes to sit on the bed, against the cushions, he grabs Seb and settles him on his lap before picking up his phone again.

“I am back” he breathes “sorry, I- I didn’t think you remembered” he settles for.

He watches his husband make faces at Seb before looking back at him, he’s doing that look, his eyes intently watching Robert’s whole face.

“I forgot for a bit these last couple of days, Rob, I’m sorry we should have stayed until today, it’s your first Father’s day, I guess I am just not used to paying any attention to this day.”

Aaron’s worrying his lip still starting at him. “Aaron, please don’t be sorry. It’s weird isn’t it, it was always just a day, something that neither of us really wanted anything to do with and now- he doesn’t know” he says, nodding his head towards Seb, “it’s not as if I mentioned it and-“ he trails off not really knowing where he wanted to go with that.

“Still, but yeah it’s a bit weird innit” Aaron replies, looking visibly more relaxed.

“Happy Father’s day to you too though.” Robert whispers as if he isn’t sure how Aaron’s going to take it.

“Thank you.” Aaron smile is warm, and he looks at Seb (who’s paying no attention whatsoever to the conversation) and Robert tries to get Seb to look at his phone again, he’s wriggly but Robert’s pretty sure he’s smiling at Aaron.

Aaron interrupts the moment and says “like I said I didn’t completely forget, - I got you summat, well Seb did I helped.”

Robert raises his eyebrow “look in my bedside draw, it’s nothing much but-.” He sighs again “I am sorry we’re not there.” “Please don’t worry about it.” Robert reassures him again, doesn’t want Aaron to feel sorry, curses himself for being weird and not just mentioning it weeks ago. He puts his phone down, and with Seb still clutched to his chest he opens Aaron’s draw and finds an envelope that says _to daddy._ It’s a struggle to juggle holding Seb, opening a card and still show his face to Aaron but somehow he manages and he hears his husband laugh. “you alright there.”

“It’s not easy you know.” Robert scoffs, “this is not the most attractive angle but it will have to do.” He mumbles, “nah you’re alright mate” and Robert rolls his eyes at the last word.

It’s a card with a smiley cloud on it, and inside reads a little message from Seb, he feels his heart stop at reading the words _amazing, funny_ and _the best._ He feels tears gathering and tries to blink them away, can’t help letting out a laugh though at how Aaron’s managed to make the handwriting even worse when writing _lots and lots of love from Seb._

“Aaron” he breathes, doesn’t know what to say really. “This is so-“

“Soppy, yeah I know- I take it you like it though.”

“I love it, thank you I-“ he wants to say more but doesn’t even know where to start, knows facetime isn’t the best place for it “and thank you” he says instead, kissing at his son’s head and tickling his belly a bit.

“I know you’re not here but I didn’t even get you a card” he says, decides to just be honest, he puts the card away, managing to get his phone at a better angle again, “I’ve gone about this day all wrong already haven’t I” he doesn’t mean to say that, and say it at _that_ tone but he has and Aaron seems to immediately get what he really means with it, the deeper meaning behind it.

“Oi, no, don’t do that.” Aaron looks upset but sounds firm, passionate. “we have next year to do it a more- well more normal way, and years after that- and since when do we do normal hey,” he’s rambling but of course he manages to calm Robert down, god he loves him so much.

Robert nods, hopes his eyes can tell Aaron everything he wants to say but can’t, he wishes he could just kiss him really. “He’s always right, is daddy Aaron.” He says animated, suddenly goes to hold Seb’s hand.

“I am” the younger man grins and suddenly the tv goes very loud at Aaron’s end, and he sees his husband rolling his eyes.

“Guess that is my cue to let you go ey.”

“No- no wait, what are you doing today.”

“I’m meeting Vic in the pub for lunch with this one, won’t be surprised if she’s trying to get hold of me, I’m late, not that I’m complaining.”

“That’s nice” Aaron replies, he looks hesitant, “are you going to-“

_Oh_

He realises what Aaron’s getting at and he feels himself panic a little, he tried not to think too much about it today, surely Vic was going to mention it but he decided to then either go or make up an excuse there and then.

“I don’t know” he says honestly “I don’t know Aaron, I don’t want to let Vic down, but- I don’t know if I can do it, especially with Seb it’s stupid but-.”

“Hey, hey- it’s not” Aaron seems to sense all of his anxious thoughts and it’s Aaron isn’t it, he knows what all of this is about. They talked about it, briefly, about Seb’s grandparents, about _graves_.

 

 

:::

 

 

_“Hey.” He heard as he closed the door behind him and Aaron came towards him, his husband had sensed sadness around him all day, and Robert felt like he was burdening him with it, but he needed it so much._

_“We’ll go in like an hour, if you’re ready?” Robert nodded, didn’t really want to do this but what else was he going to do?, it was Sunday, he had no work to be doing and he would probably only feel more pathetic if he was home alone today. So he agreed to go to the pub with Aaron for a meal, because it was Mother’s day._

_“Rob, sit down” Robert went to sit on the couch, felt his husband hesitate slightly before he sat next to him. “Did something happen?”_

_“Went on a bit of a longer walk before dropping Seb off at Keepers, went to see mum.” He clarified. Aaron said nothing and Robert loved him, knew that his husband was giving him the space to gather his thoughts._

_He didn’t push now and he didn’t before, knew when to drop it, when he had asked Robert about going to visit Sarah today, he said he would go after the meal, maybe with Vic maybe on his own and Aaron just nodded, and reassured that if he needed him, he would be there._

_His plans had changed however, it had just felt right to take Seb to see Sarah, his mum, Seb’s grandmother. He said this to Aaron who just nodded and squeezed his hand “how was it” he asked carefully._

_“Nice, brought her flowers and-“ he shrugged, now squeezing Aaron’s hand “talked about Seb, you and Victoria.”_

_He let the silence linger for a bit before continuing, “she asked me if I had seen dad as well, just because I had Seb with me, and this was the first time I took him there- I didn’t but-“ he explained, knowing it didn’t make sense, he even wasn’t sure himself what he was trying to say._

_Aaron squeezed his knee “you don’t have to do anything, you can take him there whenever you want, if you want.” He nodded of course Aaron was right, made it make sense to him._

_“Yeah- I’m glad we visited mum” is all he said and Aaron kisses his jaw and then his cheek._

:::

“You don’t have to do anything, remember” Aaron said, clearly recalling their conversation as well “you just have a nice time with Vic and him yeah?” he continued nodding his head towards Seb, “and you do whatever you feel like afterwards, you deserve a good day Rob, everything I- well Seb wrote in that card, we meant it ok? You’re amazing- you’re a great dad.”

“I love you so much.” It’s all Robert could say really, his voice sounding hoarse.

“Oi don’t set me off here-“ He sighed looking reluctant, “Guess we have to end this before Vic’s on our doorstep and Liv breaks the tv, I’ll give you a call later yeah?”

“Twice in one day, you must miss me.” Robert countered, glad to at least sound as if he was over Aaron’s words (he wasn’t but again he wasn’t complaining).

“I do, and I love you- and you little man.”

“Wait Aaron- we want you to know that you’re an amazing dad as well ok?” Robert needed Aaron to know this, before they both got on with their days.

Aaron just nodded, but looking full of love, Robert started waving with Seb’s hand and Aaron scoffed and laughed at the same time, waving back all the same.

 

 

:::

 

 

It was now Thursday and Robert couldn’t really believe that Aaron and Liv had only been gone for a week, it seemed so much longer. With Seb staying at Keepers for the night, the Mill was quiet once again. He was hunched over his laptop, Joe had given him too much work and too little time (like always) he was determined to stay in his good books though, and it was going ok so far. As much as Robert hated working for him, he had Aaron didn’t he, safe, but also there when he wanted to rant about Joe, or when he had had a tough day.

And with Aaron gone he could for once afford being snowed under, working through the night without Aaron trying to distract him, or talk him out of being up all night working for Tate.

Didn’t mean he didn’t feel that same buzzing feeling when his phone (finally) rang.

 

 

“Hello you.” Aaron sounded perky.

“Hiya, you’ve been gone for a week now.”

“So we are counting are we.”

“And you aren’t.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” His husband laughed “think we are going to be home Sunday, so that’s not even two weeks.”

Robert was slightly surprised, but very relieved, “really?”

“Yeah, what with Liv dragging us out for a meal every night, and persuading me to buy her tickets to whatever there’s to see.”

“Huh?”

“Well you know, animal parks, quirky houses, basically anything there’s to see, daylight robbery that.

Robert laughed at that, could just imagine it and it made him miss the both of them that bit more.

“And the petrol and our overnight stays, it’s weird how going away quite close to home can still be more expensive than say Spain.”

Robert scoffed at that, “you want to go Spain next then.”

“Yup, we’ll book it when I get back.” Robert could practically hear Aaron grinning.

“And there’s another reason, I want to get back- I miss you.”

“That’s the main reason, I expect.” Robert smiled

“Maybe.”

 

They talked some more about how expensive these not quite two weeks were proving to be, and Robert just relished in hearing his husband’s voice, laughing when Aaron asked him about his day which was like it had been all days, boring compared to his. He ended the call with a promise to Aaron not to work too hard.

 

 

After he finished one of his to do’s for the business he checked on the washing. He wasn’t sure if he ever got over the feeling of how domesticated it all felt, he honestly didn’t mind sorting out the washing, and so what if he listened to cheesy teen pop while doing so? With Aaron not here to complain and make snarky comments and no baby who could wake up, he could play it even louder.

He got Seb’s little bear outfit out, Robert smiled at how his son had already gotten through a few, smiled even more at thinking how Aaron got him this exact one. He remembers Sunday, _Father’s day_ , and how quite good that day turned out it the end even without Aaron. He dressed Seb in the little bear outfit, sending a few photo’s of him in it to Aaron “ _to make up for the lack of Father’s day presents xxx”_

He recalls their chat that evening, both of them happy, Lisa was doing well, and Liv and her had a good chat, and Robert had a good first Father’s day, Vic didn’t push him about dad, Robert had decided, that if he was going to visit his dad’s grave, with Seb, he wanted Aaron near him, not somewhere in Scotland. He had told his sister that he would probably go on the way home and they left it at that, and as much as he loved Diane, he did, he was glad that she turned down the meal to deal with Doug and the police business. He told Aaron all of this who said he was proud of him, and Robert had felt good.

But of course what made the day the best was his morning chat with Aaron, his husband always right by his side, even if he wasn’t near him, always knowing what to say.

 

 

:::

 

 

It was Saturday evening, Robert was watching some crappy television, with Seb sprawled on his chest, the little boy didn’t seem to want to settle down, so Robert decided that they could just as well keep each other company.

Aaron had sent a text this morning telling him that they were going to be driving for most of the day, and that he would give him a call when they had stopped for their last night.

 

Seb who had been dozing suddenly seemed more awake and tried to lift his body up a bit. Robert frowned, thought he heard a car door slam, close by, he rolled his eyes, hoped it wasn’t Victoria suddenly coming for a visit, or even worse, to drag them to the pub. Before he could even stand up to look out of the window he could hear fumbling at the door, there wasn’t even time to be surprised or maybe scared? Because-

 

“Hello here we are!” Liv tumbled in the house, dragging her suitcase and what looked like a million plastic bags with her.

“But what-“

“Don’t just stand there! Help your husband with the more heavy stuff!”

_There was even more stuff?_

“Here, he’s sick of your mug.” Liv laughed, already seeing Seb’s little arms stretching towards her “hey you” she cooed, Seb willingly falling into Liv’s arms.

 

 

“Thought you were never gonna give me a hand here” Aaron was standing next to the car, surrounded by another suitcase and even more plastic bags. Robert still hadn’t said anything, too stunned really.

“Come here you idiot.” He laughed moving towards Robert, before Robert himself finally shook himself out of his shock and caught his husband in his arms.

He clung to Aaron, nuzzling his face in Aaron’s neck, he felt his husband holding him just as tight as they began to sway slightly, knew better than to ever comment on it.

 

“I missed you so so much.”

“I know, I missed you too.”

“It’s Saturday” Robert said.

Aaron snorted “yeah I know, it seemed we could easily do the drive all in one day and well Liv seemed quite happy to get back and well, maybe I wanted to see you.”

Robert felt his whole face practically beaming before he dived in to kiss Aaron, hoping to pour all his love into it, hoping it was a good start to all the making up for loss time, they had to get through. He held at his husband’s face while he felt the younger man rubbing his back.

“I love you.” Robert would almost say he felt complete again when he could finally say it to Aaron’s face again like this, but he wasn't that soppy.

“I love you too” Aaron smiled at him, that smile that lit up his whole face, lit up Robert’s _world._

“I am so glad you’re home.” Robert admitted, pushing their foreheads together.

“Same here.”

“Really?” The older man put some space in between them so he could watch his husband.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Aaron frowned, rubbing at Robert’s arms, almost as if he could sense _something_.

Robert shook his head quickly, laughing and placing multiple pecks on Aaron’s lips. “If I had known you’d be back today I would’ve cleared up some more, it’s not that messy-“

Aaron laughed lightly, “c’mon let’s go in, before Liv drags us in- and you’re not the only one I missed you know.”

And Robert couldn’t feel more complete if he tried.

 

 

 

After Liv (and Aaron) gave him and Seb their presents, Seb already completely obsessed with his cuddly new elephant, there were cups of teas (and bottles), more talk about adventures in Scotland and lots of handholding (him and Aaron), the house was finally quiet and Robert finally had his husband back next to him in bed.

Liv was out like a light, happy to be back in her own bed after her travels and Seb already sleeping deeply when Aaron tucked him in for the night.

 

“So you managed while we were away” they were facing each other, Robert just completely relishing in the fact that he could finally touch Aaron again, feel his breath ghost on his skin.

“Yeah, well- yeah, I am still here aren’t I” Aaron scoffed.

“I am happy to see you guys so happy” he continued honestly, “Liv, she really needed that, you as well probably.”

Aaron was watching him intently, eyes watching his whole face in that Aaron kind of way. “Yeah she did, it did her good, and I had fun, it was nice to be out of the village you know, I missed you though.”

Robert just smiled back at him, felt a lump forming in his throat, Aaron didn’t need to know. But the younger man was already frowning, moving his hand to place it on Robert’s cheek.

“Rob?”

Robert hated that he said it in that voice, kind and gentle but also slightly cracked, as if he knew something was up.

“I’m being silly” _as usual_ he wanted to add.

“I am sure you’re not.”

“I was just worried, maybe I still am-“

“About us or?”

“You and me.” Robert clarified.

“Why?” Aaron waited him out, moving his thumb over Robert’s cheek.

“I guess- with you and Liv being together, away from me” Robert almost cringed, it sounded so horrible, but didn’t know how else to explain it “it was like, before, you know and I was so worried that you weren’t happy to come home, that you realised something- I just want you to be happy.”

The hand on his face had stilted, Robert had been looking to the spot on the bed in the middle of their bodies, didn’t really dare look up now. “I’m sorry” he whispered, terrified suddenly of what Aaron was going to say, maybe he was about to agree-

 

“Robert.” It still sounded kind, calm. “Look at me.”

Robert did and at the same time Aaron moved to sit up, clearly waiting for him to do the same. Robert did and the hand was back on his cheek, he let out a shaky breath.

“Let me.” He said clearly wanting Robert to just listen.

“Don’t be sorry okay, don’t be- I am so so happy Rob- to be home, to be with you, to be with Seb. I get what you mean, why you’d think that, it was the same wasn’t it? But that’s exactly it, I tried being without you remember? It was horrible, and this was different, I knew you were waiting for me at home, but I still missed ya so much. Hearing your voice every night was the best thing. There’s nowhere else I want to be right now, I promise ya.”

Robert could feel that his face was wet but Aaron’s was already brushing away a few tears.

“I was worried- that you would get angry because it’s not as if I can’t tell that you love me or anything it’s just-“ he tried to take a deep breath, trying to explain-

“Trust me Rob I get it, it’s okay” He said clearly thinking of his own insecurities and he pushed their foreheads together.

Aaron kissed his forehead, and placed tiny kisses on his lips before guiding him to lie down again.

 

 

They let silence linger for a bit, hands intertwined between them.

 

 

“It’s Sunday tomorrow” Aaron started “shall we have our belated Father’s day, _together?”_

“What are we doing?”

“Whatever really, as long as it’s the four of us?”

“I’d like that.” Robert said squeezing his hand, thinking of the card he, well Seb got for Aaron, a week later but still as valid as ever.

“You know what I’d also like?”

“Well?”

“Starting our catch up, what do ya think?” Aaron replied, already moving on top of Robert.

He grinned, “I think that’s a very good idea,” as he kissed Aaron, hard.

“Thought so too” he hears his husband mumble.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this! it got far longer than i intended it to be really  
> thank you for reading xx


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